Tough Decision

I can't slow down my thoughts. They are running in every direction and I'm not sure what to do.

After Christmas break we had a rough time with J and school. He threw the most enormous tantrums I have ever seen. School was "too hard" even though he was getting everything right. School was "too hard" even though he could complete an assignment in 3 minutes flat. He just didn't want to do school. He wanted to play the Wii. The tantrums got so bad we decided we needed to look into sending him to school to finish out Kindergarten. (and yes, the wii was taken away too) I didn't want to spend our time together fighting. I was afraid he was going to hate me because of these arguments we were having. Daily.

A friend told me about a local private school that has scholarships available. We went to visit the school yesterday and J loved it. He wasn't sure at first. He was almost in tears as we sat down to observe. But as the kids did there thing, and as they lined up to go on to the next thing, J lined up too. He fit in. He had fun. He smiled. He was liking school.

I was happy to see him having fun and playing with other kids. The school is really nice and it's a Christian school. The Kindergarten teacher is very nice. And the class is very small. If J goes he will be the 10th student.

Now we have to make a decision. Continue to homeschool or send him to private school? The past week of homeschooling has been great. He didn't fight at all. He did his work. We had fun. But there wasn't anyone his age to play with. There wasn't a classroom full of stuff to do.

BUT we chose homeschooling for a reason. We want to be hands on with our children and in control of what is filling their heads. and hearts. I don't want to shelter them from the entire world, but yes, I do want to shelter them from a lot of evils out there. Even a good private school can't keep kids from being exposed to too much.

When it is all said and done, what we want most is to raise our children in a way that would make God smile. We want to raise our children with a knowledge of who God is and what He has done. We want to raise children who have a sense of belonging and a sense of family.

I don't want to put my selfish desires ahead of what is best for J. I like having him home. I like knowing where he is and what he is doing. But there comes a time when I have to let go. Is it now?

Please, pray for us that we can make a decision. A decision that we can feel at peace with.